Fathers Day. A whole new view on it!

 
Fathers Day is a day that wasn't always easy for me. For many years it kind of served as a reminder that I, "didn't have a Father", and I remembering feeling resentful on Mothers/Fathers Day because of the absence of both of my parents.
 
God is incredibly faithful though. The very moment I TRULY chose to forgive those specifics pieces of my past, He opened a door of opportunity that allowed me to go and see my father in Chicago. When I was there, I not only made the choice to tell him I forgave him for his absence, but also to tell him that I unconditionally loved him, wasn't angry, and most of all, that God loved him too. When he passed last year, I took comfort in the fact that our last moment together was so beautiful.

And I realize this:: I've always had a Father. I was never Fatherless. My birth birth father may have not been present, but technically I did have one.. Oh, and God is/has always been my Father is the best part.
 
I try not to be too deep with my posts, but we overcome by the power of our testimonies. And I have a feeling one of you needs to read this. Heck, I needed to type it. Sometimes life happens and you forget how strong you are. How beautiful you are. How big your heart is. And how amazing God is in your life when you surrender.
 

Thanks for reading. Remember:: to those that grew up without their birth dad, you were never Fatherless. He just wasn't present. And though it hurts, forgive. Choose to celebrate amazing Dads around you. ~MelRo

Quick Little Update via Video

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Friends!

Happy 2015 to you all!  I hope that everyone is amazing, well, and whole.  And if you're not any of those, then my hope is that that you're working feverishly to get to that place.  (xo) So much has occurred since my last post months ago, and I must say, it's all been for my good.  Even the hard stuff.


Quick updates:

In October of 2014, I lost my bio-logical father to a horrific automobile accident and though it was something that not only wreaked havoc on me emotionally as well as physically, the wonderful part in all of that, was that I reflected on the fact that I got a chance to meet/reconcile with him a year before he passed away.  Had I not made the decision to do so, I would have grieved in a very different way, and so I am very thankful for that.

 

I FINISHED MY FIRST BOOK! It's been a long time coming, and when I tell you that it required blood, sweat, and tears to see it  through, it absolutely did.  First off, the life experiences I had to grow through in order for the book to even exist was a true journey in of itself.  Then, heartbreaks, times of struggle, stress, and distraction came my way during my process of completing it.  That made me feel at many times that I'd never see it done.  BUT!!!!!!!!! It finally is complete.  I will have it available very soon for the public, and am so honored that many of you patiently waited.  Please know that I poured everything I had into it from a very transparent, real, raw place.  My only hope is that it blesses every reader.  Will keep you updated on when, where, and how to get it in your hands.

Speaking of writing, my work as a writer was featured in Heart and Soul magazine's, "Fresh" section, and it was amazing to be given a platform to get my message out.

 

Next up, I've still be traveling as an auto show presenter, and LOVE what I do.  I've gotten a chance to call Sacramento, Charlotte, Baltimore, and Salt Lake City my temporary homes so far this season, and it's been an amazing journey.  I've met some amazing people, seen cities that I've never been to, and got even more practice (6 years now) speaking in front of large crowds of people.  It's been wonderful, and I've got 3 more shows left!
 

I also had the opportunity to teach a workshop for the youth over Christmas Break. God placed it on my heart to give back to my community in lieu of receiving gifts, or giving them traditionally, and it was an amazing feeling.  Now of course, my children, and I still celebrated it in some capacity, but they knew that Mom was going to to choose to serve this year as my main focus, and they were happy with my decision.  They know my heart, and are two unselfish beings in their own right which meant that they were all the more understanding. The workshop was an AMAZING (I obviously LOVE that word) 4 hours of awesomeness, and I can't WAIT to do SO many more across the country.

 

Finally, I've been asked to keynote a major event on March 1 in Columbus, Ohio called The Purple Teen Party.  This year, the focus is on Self-Respect, and I am SO honored to have been chosen to be part of it.  It is a completely FREE event for the youth, and you're able to register a teen you may know for the event.  I SO hope to meet many of you there.

 
 
I'll also be holding a FREE motivational call February 10th at 9:00pm est for the first time.  I'll be talking about how to live a Purposeful Life, and I hope you all are as blessed as I was by the word that God gave me.


Want to know more about what I'm doing, or follow my journey?  Connect with me on Facebook: MelRo's Voice, or on Instagram: @melissaroshan




Wishing you love, and Light my friends!  I'm MelissaRoshan (MelRo). I am one woman, with one heart, and one voice.  Until next time...

Ally & The Note Pad

Hello my friends,

I hope this finds you all in the most excellent spirits, and that your lives reflect how beautiful you are.

Today, I had a blessed experience, that I know will bless you all.  While you're sipping your Sunday latte, dig in:

So today at a cafe, I met a young waitress named Ally who noticed I was writing.  She asked me what I was working on, and when I told her the finishing touches to my memoir, she sat down wanting to know more.  I gave her a brief summary of the story, and we discussed what it meant to walk in freedom (which is the central theme of my book).  Ally then opened up to me, and told me that her mother has a story similar to mine, but didn't have the courage to  write because she was so overcome with hurt still.

After listening to her, what I shared with Ally was this: Even though I have the courage to write, and on I'm on the other side of where I was before, I still have my own battles that are hurtful at times.  In fact, just this week I experienced stress that at one point, made me not want to even open my laptop.  BUT, just when we think we can't find courage, peace, or strength to push forward, it's totally there for us to tap into. Yes, life is going to happen, and yes we will feel an extreme level of defeat, but everything we grow through has a unique purpose, and often it's meant to be shared with someone else.

Before I started writing my book, a woman in an airport walked up to me, and handed me a yellow notepad, and said, "You're so Precious, and God told me to tell you to write young lady".  I was so blown away at the time, but was obedient, and wrote my first 8 chapters of my book on that very notepad.  (I still have that very same notepad to this day by the way).



Just like the woman had done for me, I wanted to do the same for Ally's mother. I gave her the rest of what I had left, and told her to go buy her Mother a yellow Mead notepad today, and to tell her the lady in the cafe said:  "Start writing because we overcome by the power of our testimony".  Ally informed me that it was her Mother's birthday, and that she was going to do just that.

I say to you all: No matter what, push.  Know that courage, peace, and love has this endless well of supply that is always available for us to live in.  Additionally, don't allow your own stress, and hurt stop you from encouraging, or giving to someone else.  When we are feeling low, that is often the best time to pick someone else up.  I promise.


Wishing you love, and Light my friends!  I'm MelissaRoshan (MelRo). I am one woman, with one heart, and one voice.  Until next time...

The Purging Process

Hello my friends! I hope this post finds everyone in amazing spirits, and of course---having a beautiful start to your Summer.

This post is titled, "The Purging Process", because over the past couple years, that is exactly what has occurred in my own personal life. I was inspired to blog about it, because I believe it is a message we can all benefit from.   Now the question becomes, "purging of what exactly?". The answer is this: As I've grown, the relationships I had (whether business, or personal) have had to be purged out of my life.  While it may sound harsh, it's absolutely true, and I am sure many of you can relate.

As an example, I remember the days when I was smoking, drinking, going out, and searching for happiness in places/or with people that never filled me.  When I looked around, many of the people that I surrounded myself were doing the same exact thing.  They fit in with the unhealthy place that I was at.  Unknowingly, we were all encouraging the other to stay where we were because we were comfortable in that empty place.  



What eventually ended up happening was when I started to change and grow my, "friends" were no longer interested in me, and that came as no surprise because we no longer had anything in common.  We grew apart, and as bad as I tried to salvage the relationship, there was nothing there anymore. The more I tried to salvage, the more I hurt, and disappointed I felt.  I went back expecting different results from people that never changed.

Finally, the "purging process" began to take place.   People began leaving my life either because of a self-initiated distance, a distance they put in place, or worse----a falling out.   I didn't know this at the time of course, but only after deep reflection was I able to identify what it was.  

What I quickly realized was that rather than prolonging this natural process, I needed to just let it happen.  I needed to understand, and embrace that there are SOME relationships that were only meant for a season. When the season changes, the relationship sometimes has to as well. Here is the thing though, even though a relationship ends, it doesn't have to be a volatile process.  The, "falling out" that I mentioned earlier doesn't have to occur.  

While it is true that as you begin to change, the inevitable process of people being filtered out that are not in sync with where you're going will happen, as long as you emotionally prepare yourself to embrace this, it makes the change that much easier.

So, I am sure that the NEXT question becomes HOW do you prepare yourself for this process? Further, how do you recognize the time is here? For me, I had to remember the following:

*Some relationships are meant to be had for a lifetime, while others are only meant to be for a season.  When that season is up, move forward gracefully.

*God knows where your future lies, you do not.  In other words, while you're trying to hang on to that relationship, God knows that where you're going in the future this relationship will not be a good fit for you.  Trust the process.

*Be honest with how you're feeling.  Does the relationship align with where you are in your life currently? Does it inspire you to want to do better, and be better? If the relationship were like a food, does it fill your soul, or is it like poison to your spirit?

*Before making any decisions, quiet your spirit, and meditate on which direction you should go.  You'll hear, and you'll know. Just listen.  Now remember that what you're hearing, may not be what you were expecting. Please yield to it however, and move forward in your life--PEACEFULLY.

I KNOW this isn't easy my friends.  I've had to walk away from even business relationships that were a huge part of my income, but weren't emotionally good for me.  I kept hanging on because I thought I, "needed the money", but was miserable in the process. I had to take a leap of faith, and walk away. In the end, I felt SO much better because of it, and guess what? It opened me up for healthier opportunities. 

This blog post only exists because after bumping my head many a time,  I finally got this lesson down, and am able to share it with you, and one day my own children.  For that reason, I'd say it's all worth it.

Finally.....


Continue to grow my friend.  Those that belong in your life will stay, and those that don't belong won't.  Hanging on not only prolongs the new from coming into your life, but it also prevents you from truly living free.  Trust your process, recognize the signs, listen, hear, obey, and adjust accordingly.

Wishing you love, and Light my friends!  I'm MelissaRoshan (MelRo). I am one woman, with one heart, and one voice.  Until next time...

MelRo's Voice Beautiful Heart Challenge

Get Ready! It's the first ever MelRo's Voice Beautiful Heart Challenge!!!!!!!!! Follow along on Instagram as well! @melissaroshan Twitter @melissaroshan.

Goal:: By the end of this (7) day challenge, your heart will feel less polluted by the things weighing you down emotionally.  You'll feel more beautiful on the inside----where it truly counts! Each morning at 7am (est) I will post the next day's challenge right on this same blog post---so check back daily!

Good luck! Xo,


______________________________________________________________





Welcome to the first day of the MelRo's Voice Beautiful Heart Challenge!! As promised, I will post the next day's challenge at 8 am (est). I look forward to seeing all of your posts today! Cheers to a clean, beautiful heart! Day One/Challenge: YOU are the most beautiful when you're authentically you. Post one photo of you au-naturale (no filters, skin smoothers, allowed please) and in the caption, tell us why you are STILL beautiful even without a stitch of anything on. I know this isn't the easiest to do ESPECIALLY when the world suggests that we NEED make-up to be beautiful. Trust this process! I will never forget when I was 18 years old, I dated a guy who told me that he'd only continue going out with me if I wore make-up. It was then that I knew that not only would I NEVER accept this type of treatment from anyone else again, but that my focus would be on maintaining a beautiful heart---not my face. Here's my photo, and reason why I still find myself beautiful! "I am imperfectly powerful, unique, kind, spirited, and true. My nature is to put others before me, and to give Love unselfishly. I'm witty, playful, eclectic, funny, slow to anger, and creative. All of these things accompanied with my imperfections, make me beautiful." Proud of you all! Don't forget to tag me, and hashtag! #melrosvoicebeautifulheartchallenge

Day Two/Challenge:

To Be Reconciled, is a Beautiful Thing.

We've all be hurt by someone. Maybe it was by a family member, someone in authority, colleague, a friend, or significant other. Here's the thing: When you hold onto that anger, it is like drinking poison, but waiting on the person who hurt you to die. Makes no sense right?

Having a heart full anger, hate, holding a grudge, gossip about them etc. is the fastest way to end up feeling ugly, and eventually behaving ugly. It's also a distraction from you living freely. (Trust me) Today's challenge is this: Do something that pushes you to FORGIVE the other party, for pain that their actions have caused you. Whether it means that you have to make a phone call (not text) to the offending party to squash beef, write a sincere letter in order to make things right, meet up/schedule meeting up with an estranged family member for tea, stop posting subliminally on social media about them, you decide what is best for you. There's many ways to accomplish this.

I know this one isn't the easiest ESPECIALLY if you feel you've done nothing wrong, but this is why we call it a challenge! It's meant to stretch you for growth! Being the bigger person doesn't make you a punk by the way. It makes you powerful! For me: The following picture is of me holding my biological father's hand, after having a difficult, but well needed conversation. I traveled (6) hours on the road to see him, because I needed to do that for my growth.

After that day, I felt a sense of beautiful freedom like none other. I knew then that I had the capacity to forgive anyone if I could forgive him. I also saw how strong, and brave I was.... Before I got to the point of seeing him for the second time in my life however, I had to first ask God to heal me in that area because me doing it on my own was much too big of an issue. Once I asked, God did the transformative work on my heart, and I was off to Chicago days later.

Post some type of pic that supports what you've done today, and don't forget to hashtag, and tag me #melrosvoicebeautifulheartchallenge @melissaroshan. #forgiveness #love #peace #growth #beauty #gorgeous #letgo 

#brave

Day 3/Challenge There's beauty in giving. We were sent to this earth with a purpose to serve in some capacity. Did you know that when we live our lives in service to others, it becomes a truly meaningful life? Human nature is to be selfish (and while there's nothing wrong with taking care of you first) today, let go of self, making way for service.

Today's challenge is to give of yourself to someone else for no other reason than it's a beautiful thing to do. Don't expect anything in return, just give from your heart. Whether it be covering a stranger's coffee order in front of you, running an errand for a friend, set up an appointment to volunteer for a cause you believe in, or extending a hand to someone in need. GIVE.

For me: I have, and always have had the heart to give back to others. Many times however, I gave of myself to the wrong people and ended up deeply hurt. My answer wasn't to stop giving however... It was to first understand WHY this deep desire was inside of me, and then it became knowing WHEN and WHERE to give. That's how my purpose was found.

n my life I experienced a tumultuous/traumatic childhood/young adulthood, battled obesity, and was a teen homeless mother amongst other adversities. By the grace of God, I also went on to successfully model, move to New York City with my then young son, own my own make-up freelancing business, drop 74 pounds, and will soon publish my memoir.

Throughout my life, I realized that every lesson I acquired, wasn't just meant for me. It was meant for others. Every single experience was actually for the greatest good. It became my mission to use my life as a way of inspiring others along their own journeys. Not everyone has shared my same experiences, but everyone can benefit from inspiration/motivation. That's been my goal. To use my voice as a way to lift others. (MelRo's Voice). One Woman. One Heart. One Voice.

By the end of the day, watch how lovely you're all going to feel after this challenge! Remember: Don't let the person know you're doing this because of a challenge though Post a photo of how you gave! Don't forget to tag me @melissaroshan and hashtag! #melrosvoicebeautifulheartchallenge

Day 4/Challenge
Be kind to you. You're beautiful, and you deserve it! How many times are we quick to treat our own selves ugly, but are ready to pop off on someone else when they behave this way toward us? No more! Nobody gets a pass at talking down to you, or treating you as if you're nothing. NOT EVEN YOU!

Challenge: *Do ONE thing nice for yourself by yourself that doesn't require you going into a financial/emotional/physical debt, and makes your heart feel beautifully full. Whether it's going for a bike ride on your own, gifting yourself with a spa treatment, eating a heart healthy meal, going to the gym, walking in the park, etc. Gift yourself today. You deserve it, and you've earned it.* The key is to do this on your own though, so that you can discover just how amazing your own company is. For me personally, I love having as many happy moments that I can. Life can be rough enough, why make it more difficult? I want to smile more, love harder, stress less, and flutter like a butterfly when I can. My goal is to LIVE, not EXIST.

'm an avid fan of First Time experiences (hence the Go Kart Racing, Sky Diving photo) and when I'm not getting some type of adrenaline rush (smile) spa treatments, walks in the park, or just time with myself are what keep me centered. It's been one of my sources of healing, (with God/fellowship) being the first. Now, your turn!!!! Post a photo showing how you were kind to yourselves today, and don't forget those tags/hashtags!!! #melrosvoicebeautifulheartchallenge We're almost there!

Day 5/Challenge

Healthy Heart Smoothie!

Now that we're feeling, "cleaner" emotionally, let's make certain we take care of our physical beings too. In an effort to keep our hearts beautiful, I absolutely have to cover the importance of clean eating.

Many of you remember that I posted about losing 74lbs of weight. Many of those pounds were comprised of emotional toxins, as well as just plain old eating bad. When I made the choice to heal, I also made the choice to clean up my lifestyle. It was like a double whammy!

Challenge: Today in addition to thinking positive thoughts, incorporate three of these Beautiful Heart smoothies I created into your day. Not only does it taste amazing, but your heart will thank you for it!

If you have an allergy, please substitute

You will need:

1. A blender (you can get a portable small blender from Target, and then just pack your ingredients with you in ziplock bags).

2.One head of spinach

3.One quart of unsweetened Almond Milk

4.One Gallon of Spring or Distilled water

5. One head of Kale

6. Two peeled oranges

7. Frozen raspberries and blueberries

8. Two capfuls of Flaxseed oil, or raw flaxseed.

Directions:

1.Rinse all vegetables of any particles, and aside.

2. On a full/mini size blender, fill it up halfway with water.

3. Add your (2) capfuls of flax seed oil to your full size, for mini add one. OR 3 tablespoons of flaxseed to the full, 1 to the mini.

4.Add one handful of kale to full, half to the mini.

5.Same with your spinach

6.Add one handful of frozen berries to the full, half to the mini

7.Add three slices of oranges to your full, one slice for the mini

8.Add four table spoons of almond milk to both sizes.

9.BLEND!

Have one with your breakfast, for a snack, and with dinner. I can't wait to see your smoothie pics!!! Tag and hashtag!!! #melrosvoicebeautifulheartchalleng #smoothie #fitlife #healthy #eatclean #weightloss #fridayinspiration

Day 6/Challenge

The more silent you are, the more you hear.

Not only does life get crazy busy, but we also live in a day and age when being on Social Media/smartphones/internet is part of many of our lives. (Me included).

I heard someone once say that they HAD to have some type of background music on, or the company of others, etc in order to make them feel less lonely. No judgements, but did you know that when you're silent, you tend to, "hear" the most? With people always around, or commotion always going on how do you have time to reflect?

It is in quiet time that you're really able to get your thoughts together, and become clear on where you are in your life. If there's things in your heart hurting you, conclusions you have to make, or healing that really needs to occur they'll be more likely identified when you turn the noise down.

Challenge: Today, set aside one hour of your day to just be still. This is aside from taking a nap! (Lol). During this hour, do not check your phone, computer, or speak. No music, no anything. Get to a quiet space, and just reflect.

Grab a journal, notebook, or a couple sheets of paper and write out what you hear/feel.

This challenge may sound boring to some, but you know what? You're going to be so much more clear after. By all means: if you can go for more than an hour, please do so!

For your photo, you can take a picture of the place you went to for your quiet time, your journal, etc. Get creative with your pics! We are in the homestretch now!!! I'm loving what I am seeing! Don't forget to tag, and hashtag as always!! @melissaroshan #melrosvoucebeautifulheartchallenge #om #stillness #meditation #peace #growth #selfactualized

Day 7/Challenge

The power of Love is a beautiful thing!


I know that many of us can relate to being told we are loved, but then the person said/did something that completely contradicted what they professed. OR, maybe we told someone we loved them, but then behaved the exact opposite toward them.


As a result, we started questioning Love, because it hurt us in the past. Additionally, if we'd never been shown true Love, it became difficult to give to someone else.


Here's the thing: When love hurts, it's often because it's the other party's interpretation of love. Maybe it's that they, "love" what you can do for them, love the way you look, or love you as long as you don't anger them.


Of course, that isn't love Fam.


What is love you ask?


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.


For me, the only reason I was able to create today's challenge is because I've lived on both sides of the spectrum. Been told I was loved MANY times, by many people, and ended up devastated. Or, I said I love you to someone, but in my own humanness failed.


Once I really began to absorb the true meaning of Love, I changed for the better. I not only knew what to expect, and accept, but also how to really treat others.


Challenge:: Go tell five people that you love them, and really mean it! Then, make a promise to yourself to show it with your actions moving forward. Additionally, really understand that anything outside of the above scripture is. not. love.


Post a photo showing your love. Be creative! Congrats on finishing! Tag, and hashtag! @melissaroshan #melrosvoicebeautifulheartchallenge

THANK YOU!

Just wanting to thank everyone that supported, and participated in the#melrosvoicebeautifulheartchallenge. I was led to do it, because I know all too well the dangers of neglecting our inward beings. If we focus on our , we will always find true gorgeous beauty there. I wasn't sure what to expect when I launched it, I just knew that I had to be obedient and DO IT. My prayer is that you all were inspired, impacted, and upgraded. I know I was. To all women out their leading empowerment movements, there's room for us all. One of us can't possibly do all the work. Continue on with what you're doing! Be that change you wish to see in the world. . I can't wait to share what's next! Thanks again! #melrosvoice #love #empower #unity #peace#beauty

When we get tired....

Hi Friends!

We all get tired, and worn out at times.  This certainly does not exclude the author of this blog.  Lately, I've just felt a pinch burnt out really.  With managing three lines of business, raising an honor roll student, a soon-to-be first grader, taking care of myself, serving my community, self-publishing a book, and doing it all with full energy has left me feeling depleted at times.

I recognized that my feeling of being burnt out required a serious plan of action when all of the sudden I began forgetting important dates, neglecting to take care of my body, wasn't fellowshipping with friends as much, and even started sacrificing my sleep to get things done at night, that I couldn't tackle during the day.  Truthfully, I started slipping, becoming scatter-brained, and people started noticing.

Friends around me started asking why I was taking on so much, and when I really thought about it, I had to ask myself the same question.  Why was I attempting to water so many flowers when I knew full well that my own watering pot was starting to run low?  The answer was simple for me.. Honestly, I felt like I had to be, "superwoman" in order to be successful.  In my quiet moment however, I heard a voice say, "Slow down Mel.. Be kind to yourself.  Focus on what is most important.  Do not become weary in your well-doing."

It is then that I decided to not only listen, but to submit to what I was hearing.

"Slow Down"

I am sure that many of you can relate to this.. The fact of the matter is that many of us wear SO many hats, and are required to wear them well.  It just becomes A LOT, and the feeling of being overwhelmed starts to settle in.  I get it.  I was there.  When I made the decision to slow down, what that meant for me was adding structure to my life, and subtracting all things that truly didn't belong.

1. I  had to take out any additional, "stuff" that didn't need to be there.  Projects that could wait to be worked on down the road, were put on the back burner.  People that zapped my energy, I lovingly had to let go of.  This wasn't the easiest of processes, and unfortunately resulted in one budding friendship to dissolve as she didn't understand that I couldn't be there for her in the manner she wanted.  Nevertheless, I had to do it for the well-being of me.

2. I purchased a planner, and really made time to schedule my success.  In other words, in a twelve hour day about six days a week, I know how 10 hours of that day will be spent.  I have time devoted to my health regime, each of my projects, my lunch (which is prepared the night before to avoid bingeing), social media time (as a business owner this is key for me), as well as time when I follow up to clients.  I know it sounds wayyyyy too disciplined to some, but for someone who is a true artist at heart, if I didn't do this, then the scatterbrain like energy would have continued.

3. I had learned to say no, and mean it. My true nature is to love on people, and to try to save the world. It's just who I am, and I love that quality (humbly speaking) about myself.  HOWEVER... True ministry starts at home.  It's very hard to inspire, assist, and be there for others when our own lives are in complete disarray.  How much good do we serve this world, when we aren't at the best place ourselves? That said, when I learned to turn down offers, and to not add too much more to my plate, I noticed that the feeling of being overwhelmed lessened.

4. I made a commitment to stop being on my phone conducting business when in my car.  A lot of us don't want to admit it, but don't worry---this is a, "Keep it Real Zone" all day long on this blog.  You'll find that I will always tell it like it is ESPECIALLY if it will help others to heal in that area.  So, the truth was, that when I was going from one appointment to the next, my car felt more like a mobile office.  I was talking to clients, responding to messages at red lights in traffic, making to-do lists in parking lots etc.  No bueno! Not only was this truly not healthy, but it certainly wasn't safe for me.  .  Even with my headset on, I've found that my focus on the road wasn't all the way there, nor was it for my clients. Sllllllow down Mel....

5.As a business owner the goal is certainly to remain above water, and out of the red zone financially. Being a single mother put the fire under my belt all the more to really push myself to do more than survive, but to live.  That makes complete sense right? What I've learned however is that I didn't have to take every appointment request that came my way.  If I needed to rest, then rest it should've been.  I was coming home grumpier than usual at times, and how fair was that to myself, or those closest to me?  Yes, the extra money is always fabulous, but at what expense? Now, my focus is to work hard, but smarter.  Rather than 22 small little jobs that require me being all over the place, my goal is now to book 5 larger jobs thereby avoiding major stress.  For all my entrepreneur's out there, I strongly suggest the same formula.

"Be kind to yourself"

Goodness gracious is this not the truth? The world beats us down enough! Why on earth should we add to this? Yet, we do. Often times we think that by being self-depracating it is the honorable, and/or humble way to be.  We talk negatively about our appearances, apologize for not being perfect, take on unrealistic expectations, belittle ourselves when we don't perform well, or even make ourselves pay for, mistakes/slip-ups from our pasts.  Notice I said, "we", right?  I am taking a page from my own book on this one here.  I am committed to loving on myself as much as I love on others.  I'll eat wholesome nutritious foods, use positive language toward myself, guard my mind/ears from negativity, forgive myself for past mistakes, and learn to accept that my imperfections are perfectly dope still.

No more negative self talk, or thoughts. I'm being kind to me.


"Focus on what is important".

For many years I placed my focus on things that were not fruitful, and thus I bore no fruit.  In other words, when I was placing ALL my energy on people that may have offended me, projects that didn't pan out, the cellulite on my thighs, etc., it didn't get me anywhere at all.  If anything, it kept me miserable, and distracted from what really mattered.  Here's an example:  Ever complain about how cold it is outside, and totally overlook the fact that you're blessed to even have a coat on your back to keep you warm? Find yourself griping about the cost of gas being high, and neglect to be thankful you have a car to even fill up? I've been guilty of this myself, and I had to to do a self check on this area. It is the same concept in reference to focus.  Wherever we place our focus, is ultimately how our lives will be shaped. For me, I choose to focus on how blessed I am even though I still have struggles like everyone else.  I choose to focus on being positive, as negativity never worked out so well for me.

"Do not become weary in your well-doing" (Galatians 6:9).

This scripture no matter what your beliefs may be is so comforting! Oh, and it get's better! Read on: "for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up".  There are MANY occasions that I   feel worn out doing the work that I do.  It's not the people that wear me out at all, quite the contrary actually. What happens is, life smacks me in the face, and in the midst of recovering from the smack, I'm still serving.  I remember on one occasion, I had gotten into a car accident earlier in the day, and was still required to go speak at a shelter that same night.

Without a car, I still had to hold it together, and be positive when on the inside I was feeling bummed.   That night that I spoke, I met a woman who saw me speak the Sunday prior at church, and it was then that she told me that night how much my words meant to her.  If I hadn't of gotten into the accident, I would have never met her. That night when I traveled home, I knew that everything happens for the greatest good, and THAT gave me motivation to push on.

The above scripture reminds me of the importance of holding on, pressing forward, and not giving up even when we want to.  Rather than having multiple pity parties, why not have power parties? Instead of, "woe is me", why not, "why is me?" instead?  Here's the thing, I fail at this at times, but you know what? When you know better, you do better.  And, so it is! I'm still pressing forward---no matter what!  I'm committed to not letting my tired days keep me down.

Side note---remember how I was upset about my car being in an accident?  A week or so later the mechanic, "miraculously" called me and told me that I wouldn't have to pay the dollar amount they initially quoted me.  I saved hundreds of dollars!  Some call it Karma, Good Luck, etc.  For me, I know that it was God blessing me for going to speak, and it was one of those character building experiences that increased my strength.


I hope that this post blessed you, as much as my processing change blessed me.  When you're tired, rest, and take inventory of your life.  Decide what is of the upmost importance, and what can wait. Then, make it so. You'll be so much better because of it.


Wishing you love, and Light my friends!  I'm MelissaRoshan (MelRo). I am one woman, with one heart, and one voice.  Until next time...