The Purging Process

Hello my friends! I hope this post finds everyone in amazing spirits, and of course---having a beautiful start to your Summer.

This post is titled, "The Purging Process", because over the past couple years, that is exactly what has occurred in my own personal life. I was inspired to blog about it, because I believe it is a message we can all benefit from.   Now the question becomes, "purging of what exactly?". The answer is this: As I've grown, the relationships I had (whether business, or personal) have had to be purged out of my life.  While it may sound harsh, it's absolutely true, and I am sure many of you can relate.

As an example, I remember the days when I was smoking, drinking, going out, and searching for happiness in places/or with people that never filled me.  When I looked around, many of the people that I surrounded myself were doing the same exact thing.  They fit in with the unhealthy place that I was at.  Unknowingly, we were all encouraging the other to stay where we were because we were comfortable in that empty place.  



What eventually ended up happening was when I started to change and grow my, "friends" were no longer interested in me, and that came as no surprise because we no longer had anything in common.  We grew apart, and as bad as I tried to salvage the relationship, there was nothing there anymore. The more I tried to salvage, the more I hurt, and disappointed I felt.  I went back expecting different results from people that never changed.

Finally, the "purging process" began to take place.   People began leaving my life either because of a self-initiated distance, a distance they put in place, or worse----a falling out.   I didn't know this at the time of course, but only after deep reflection was I able to identify what it was.  

What I quickly realized was that rather than prolonging this natural process, I needed to just let it happen.  I needed to understand, and embrace that there are SOME relationships that were only meant for a season. When the season changes, the relationship sometimes has to as well. Here is the thing though, even though a relationship ends, it doesn't have to be a volatile process.  The, "falling out" that I mentioned earlier doesn't have to occur.  

While it is true that as you begin to change, the inevitable process of people being filtered out that are not in sync with where you're going will happen, as long as you emotionally prepare yourself to embrace this, it makes the change that much easier.

So, I am sure that the NEXT question becomes HOW do you prepare yourself for this process? Further, how do you recognize the time is here? For me, I had to remember the following:

*Some relationships are meant to be had for a lifetime, while others are only meant to be for a season.  When that season is up, move forward gracefully.

*God knows where your future lies, you do not.  In other words, while you're trying to hang on to that relationship, God knows that where you're going in the future this relationship will not be a good fit for you.  Trust the process.

*Be honest with how you're feeling.  Does the relationship align with where you are in your life currently? Does it inspire you to want to do better, and be better? If the relationship were like a food, does it fill your soul, or is it like poison to your spirit?

*Before making any decisions, quiet your spirit, and meditate on which direction you should go.  You'll hear, and you'll know. Just listen.  Now remember that what you're hearing, may not be what you were expecting. Please yield to it however, and move forward in your life--PEACEFULLY.

I KNOW this isn't easy my friends.  I've had to walk away from even business relationships that were a huge part of my income, but weren't emotionally good for me.  I kept hanging on because I thought I, "needed the money", but was miserable in the process. I had to take a leap of faith, and walk away. In the end, I felt SO much better because of it, and guess what? It opened me up for healthier opportunities. 

This blog post only exists because after bumping my head many a time,  I finally got this lesson down, and am able to share it with you, and one day my own children.  For that reason, I'd say it's all worth it.

Finally.....


Continue to grow my friend.  Those that belong in your life will stay, and those that don't belong won't.  Hanging on not only prolongs the new from coming into your life, but it also prevents you from truly living free.  Trust your process, recognize the signs, listen, hear, obey, and adjust accordingly.

Wishing you love, and Light my friends!  I'm MelissaRoshan (MelRo). I am one woman, with one heart, and one voice.  Until next time...

Welcome!

Welcome Friends!

I am honored you landed on my page! Whether it was by fate, a search engine, referral, or possibly just simple curiosity, I am glad you're here!  Before you follow my journey via this blog, I'd like to share some truths with you in order for you to understand more about the author of this blog.  Why I'll post the way that I do.. What matters to me..


First off, why MelRo's Voice?  After GROWING through all that I have, and continuing this beautiful journey, I knew that I just could not keep what I've learned to myself.  After all, many times the experiences that we have aren't only meant for ourselves, they're meant to share with others along the way.  It is my belief, that when one submits to the true process of healing, it is then that they discover their true inner beauty.  My goal is to make an impact, and assist others in doing just that!



Who. Am. I.?


Such a deep question, that many of us find ourselves asking... well, ourselves.  However, since you've landed on my blog, I'm assuming you're here because you want to know who this, "MelRo" chick is right??  What's this whole, "MelRo" business about anyway? However, before I continue:

I'd like to thank you for caring enough to even visit my blog.  Secondly, I'll spare you all the, "made for t.v." like introductions, and be as transparent as possible.  I believe you've been searching to read, or hear from someone who can relate to you anyway.  Someone who understands what you go, and grow through.  An individual who cares enough to open themselves up, in order to inspire the healing you need. I get it, and... I've enthusiastically heeded the call.

I will be honest, and tell you however that I don't have all the answers to everything.  In my own humanness, I STILL get things wrong.  I still hurt, and of course, I still stumble.  What I can also tell you however, is that EVERYTHING that I'll post, will come from a true, authentic place.  My postings will come from MY experience, and inspirations.  Transparency will always flow freely here.   In other words, if I haven't lived it, or am currently living it, I won't pose as an expert, and put out content that I haven't applied to my own life.  As a reader, you have my word that I will forever be committed to this way.

Now then:

My name is:

MelissaRoshan.  That's actually one word, no space.  Yes, yes.. MelissaRoshan is my ENTIRE legal, first name.  I have no middle.  As you can imagine, when I'm in social settings, professional settings, etc., one rightfully assumes that, "Roshan" MUST be my last name.  This in turn becomes a situation in which I'm trying to explain to the often confused party that, "Roshan isn't my last name."  Finally, I decided to settle on a nickname that not only made my life easier, but also ensured that I wouldn't have to have five minute long convo's correcting, and explaining my name. Got it? Whew! That was a lot, right? (smile). In short, this is how "MelRo" was birthed.  When I met my biological mother for the first time, she explained  how important  my name was to her, and as a result---I proudly rock it  :D




My job:

So.. As I explain to you WHO I am, I have to say that what I do for a living, is just that----it's what I do for a living.  It's not who, I am.  I'd like you all to have a full understanding of the woman behind the words you'll read, and in order to achieve that, I'm laying it all out :).  I work as make-up artist, and have successfully done so for about 14 years.   Additionally, I am a print model, presenter for auto shows, speaker for the community, and an author of my forth-coming memoir: "A Beautiful Freedom".

You know, I once was backed into a verbal corner by a photographer who demanded to know, "What exactly is it that you do? I need to know if you want to be a make-up artist, model, presenter, speaker, OR author?".  She almost seemed disgusted that I chose to not live in a limited box similar to her own.  Further, she felt that she was entitled to this information, as if my ability to present a vehicle would disrupt the flow of my make-up artistry.

 I hadn't ever been late to a job, and always gave her great work, but yet she was still troubled.  I answered in this way: "I'm a woman living out her purpose, and everything that falls under that umbrella is what I do".  After-all, this was my truth, as it is to this day.  I've been given gifts, and those gifts I utilize not just for the good, but it is also my living income.  If I happen to have say, 6-7 viable gifts/talents, they'll all be put to use within my profession, AND for the greater good!  I'm grateful for that I might add, and believe there is nothing wrong with ALL of us operating in our gifts.



























Behind the costume:

And finally! We are here :).  To the place where we finally get to understand who MelRo is.  Not what I do, but who I am.  Why I have such a deep love for the people, and am a true advocate for healing, forgiveness, and living authentically. Why this blog exists.




Behind the make-up, I am a free-spirited, Hello Kitty loving, rain puddle jumping, old school music listening, every now and then stand up comedienne,  mother to an awesome teenage son, a little girl full of sunflowers, & lollipops (smile), former foster-child, survivor of child abuse, homelessness, obesity (yes, really), divorce, depression, and a current seeker of peace, love, light, and healing.  Along my journey, I only wish to inspire others to do the same. I rarely share such private details unless it's with those that are closest to me, or if I'm sharing it as a way to inspire others.... That said, here is a small video that lends to my journey:




So, there we have it... My most transparent introduction... I'm one woman, with one voice, and I am ready to share it with you all... MelRo's Voice, is a movement that inspires all women whether young, or old to heal from wounded pasts starting from the inside out.  As a result, her true beauty will be discovered.
Welcome,