This post is titled, "The Purging Process", because over the past couple years, that is exactly what has occurred in my own personal life. I was inspired to blog about it, because I believe it is a message we can all benefit from. Now the question becomes, "purging of what exactly?". The answer is this: As I've grown, the relationships I had (whether business, or personal) have had to be purged out of my life. While it may sound harsh, it's absolutely true, and I am sure many of you can relate.
As an example, I remember the days when I was smoking, drinking, going out, and searching for happiness in places/or with people that never filled me. When I looked around, many of the people that I surrounded myself were doing the same exact thing. They fit in with the unhealthy place that I was at. Unknowingly, we were all encouraging the other to stay where we were because we were comfortable in that empty place.
What eventually ended up happening was when I started to change and grow my, "friends" were no longer interested in me, and that came as no surprise because we no longer had anything in common. We grew apart, and as bad as I tried to salvage the relationship, there was nothing there anymore. The more I tried to salvage, the more I hurt, and disappointed I felt. I went back expecting different results from people that never changed.
Finally, the "purging process" began to take place. People began leaving my life either because of a self-initiated distance, a distance they put in place, or worse----a falling out. I didn't know this at the time of course, but only after deep reflection was I able to identify what it was.
What I quickly realized was that rather than prolonging this natural process, I needed to just let it happen. I needed to understand, and embrace that there are SOME relationships that were only meant for a season. When the season changes, the relationship sometimes has to as well. Here is the thing though, even though a relationship ends, it doesn't have to be a volatile process. The, "falling out" that I mentioned earlier doesn't have to occur.
While it is true that as you begin to change, the inevitable process of people being filtered out that are not in sync with where you're going will happen, as long as you emotionally prepare yourself to embrace this, it makes the change that much easier.
So, I am sure that the NEXT question becomes HOW do you prepare yourself for this process? Further, how do you recognize the time is here? For me, I had to remember the following:
*Some relationships are meant to be had for a lifetime, while others are only meant to be for a season. When that season is up, move forward gracefully.
*God knows where your future lies, you do not. In other words, while you're trying to hang on to that relationship, God knows that where you're going in the future this relationship will not be a good fit for you. Trust the process.
*Be honest with how you're feeling. Does the relationship align with where you are in your life currently? Does it inspire you to want to do better, and be better? If the relationship were like a food, does it fill your soul, or is it like poison to your spirit?
*Before making any decisions, quiet your spirit, and meditate on which direction you should go. You'll hear, and you'll know. Just listen. Now remember that what you're hearing, may not be what you were expecting. Please yield to it however, and move forward in your life--PEACEFULLY.
I KNOW this isn't easy my friends. I've had to walk away from even business relationships that were a huge part of my income, but weren't emotionally good for me. I kept hanging on because I thought I, "needed the money", but was miserable in the process. I had to take a leap of faith, and walk away. In the end, I felt SO much better because of it, and guess what? It opened me up for healthier opportunities.
This blog post only exists because after bumping my head many a time, I finally got this lesson down, and am able to share it with you, and one day my own children. For that reason, I'd say it's all worth it.
Finally.....
Continue to grow my friend. Those that belong in your life will stay, and those that don't belong won't. Hanging on not only prolongs the new from coming into your life, but it also prevents you from truly living free. Trust your process, recognize the signs, listen, hear, obey, and adjust accordingly.
Wishing you love, and Light my friends! I'm MelissaRoshan (MelRo). I am one woman, with one heart, and one voice. Until next time...
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